The 100 days of Narcissism, 2014
My phone autocorrects 'job' to 'Jor-El.'
In honor of my having stuck it out so long, a rumination:
100 days of narcissism.
Is it satire?
Is it trolling?
Can't it be both?
Shall I earn my reputation as an explorer, like Edmund Hilary before me, and plumb the abyss that is my own navel?
Am I saying something profound, or am I screaming at shadows on the cave wall that only I can see?
I do not know.
All I do know, is,
I LOVE MY ANUS! IT IS A GREAT AND POWERFUL ANUS!
Seriously, this thing is incredible. Artistic. A puckered thing of beauty.
If I had been the goatse man, my asshole would be on the dollar bill by now.
I love how much of an asshole I feel while writing these.
No really, it makes me think I'm probably on the right track as a human being.
What a wonderful old photo of meeeeeee!
For wonderful contemporary photos of meeeeee check out my wonderful Facebook page devoted to MEEEEEE!!!
This is nine years ago, right after I completed my molsonsabers--
DAMN IM AGING WELL!!!
Omg How I Met Your Mother ended no spoilers guys!!!!
I don't CARE about spoilers because unlike YOU people I watch GOOD tv and as an ARTIST I understand it's about the JOURNEY not the DESTINATION.
Also wanna know how I met YOUR mother?
I love how much I know. I know all the things that don't matter, and I'm STILL hotter than Thich Quang Duc.