Trivia 11/29/1511/30/2015 Last night's trivia was a trip. Let me tell you. Nice crowd, good energy and WOAH some high scores. There are apparently some people out there who still remember every member of G-Unit. Who'da thunk? If you really want to get the full experience, by the way, I recommend you listen to the songs under the questions as you work. If you're not done by the time the songs are done, FAILURE! EXILE! Enjoy! 1.1
Kieza, hideaway 1.2
Daya, Hide Away 2.1
Meat Puppets, Backwater Thin Lizzy, Jailbreak 2.2 SUPER SECRET BONUS ROUND Per usual these questions fit a theme. What is that theme?
Wallflowers, One Headlight 3.1
The Weeknd In The Night 3.2
Steve N Seagulls Thunderstruck Stay tuned for the answers, after THESE MESSAGES! "So I was on my way to work and I was trying to drink my Starbucks and do my makeup and talk to my girlfriend all while on the train and I kept dropping my phone in my triple-sweet extra-hot nonfat Chai Latte, but like we were having this really important convo about the guy she's been talking to and how like they like to netflix and chill and stuff and junk but like neither of them is trying to do anything serious like a relationship-relationship right? I mean that's not crazy or anything they're just looking for like casual sex and companionship and help with their bills but like they don't want to be a couple or anything like that's too much, and like I kept getting chai in my hair and then my boss was a total dick about it when I asked if I could stop in at Forever 21 for maybe like a new blouse cause the old one had chai on it and really I needed to keep talking to my friend cause like I have my problems too right? Like the guy I'VE been talking to is TOTALLY talking to this other girl too and he says it's not serious but you KNOW that he's not telling me the truth cause I'VE been talking to this other guy too just in case you know? So like I know what it looks like and I TOTALLY needed the time to get my shirt and talk to my girl but like my boss was–" SCREEEEEEECAAAAW *flap flap flap* SCREEEEEEEEEEE *flap smack crunch* Omigod get it off of her oh god her face Jesus Christ SCREEEEEEEAAAAW *flap flap flap* Screeeeeeeeeeeeee *flap flap* Flamberg's Millennial-Seeking Attack Eagles. For those moments when pushing someone into traffic just isn't enough. Call now and receive our Anti-Busker Osprey, FREE! Flamberg's. Because sometimes the children AREN'T our future. "Hi. If you're like me, you gain four hundred pounds of muscle and claws and then kill a bunch of farm animals every time you hear Drake's "Hotline Bling." I used to think this was normal. That there was nothing I could do. But then my doctor told me about Perferon. Perferon is a non-pharmaceutical prescription Anti-ShitHop medication designed to block ShitHop at its source, through the use of trained Yakuza assassins. With just one dose of Perferon, I can safely ignore performers like Drake, Kanye West and Bei Maejor, secure in the knowledge that at least they won't be making any more music.
Talk to your doctor about Perferon today. But do it in person, because it's best not to have a phone record of the conversation. AND WE ARE BACK, Petunia, with the answers to this weeks TRIVIAAAAA GAAAAAAME! Brought to you by Flamberg's Millennial-Seeking Attack Eagles and Perferon: For all your Shithop Prevention Needs. You know Petunia I heard you had one of those Flamberg's eagles sent after YOU last night, tell me, how was that? Not here? Where is she? Oh, well, I mean, was anyone gonna tell me? Come on, Alphonse, her lines are still on the teleprompter! Well it's not my job to tell you how to do your job, it's my job to stand up here with the mic and hawk that douchebag's attack birds. Did she call in? She's where? Oh, right. Yeah, no right, because of the Eagle. Yeah. My bad. How's she doing? To shreds you say. I mean can they make her a new one? Well, what if they just got her a wig and stapled it on? Fine, glued it on. Well I don't know how medicine works, for God's sake, my mother told me Aspirin was a schedule-1 narcotic! Yeah, well, YOUR moms is so fat she uses Crisco insteada KAY WHY! Yeah, that's right, I– Whattaya mean the mic is on? You're the worst, Al. 1.1
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AuthorThe unkempt thoughts of Benjamin Mumford-Zisk Archives
July 2020
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